Hi, and welcome to my blog-turned-place where I post my writing. This is my outlet to put them up, which was radically different from the blog that this started out as. I hope you'll have a good time reading my blog/place where I post some poetry and some short stories. I try to cover a variety of topics in these works of mine, so I hope any readers will enjoy it. I'm not an English major by any stretch, but I enjoy writing. Critique would be nice for my writing, cause lord knows I could work on it. Enjoy!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

What is Love? Have I Abused It?

I don't know what to say to that. I just broke up right now with somebody that I really truly loved. Honestly, it feels like I was run over and my heart ripped out. Was it a result of me not being a good enough boyfriend? Or was it that I created a situation with incredibly high standards that I couldn't live up to? I respect her decision either way; I know it was hard for her to do, and I support her all the way. Right now, I don't know what to say, how to react. I'm just stunned.

If I had to point the blame, it'd be at me. It's not her fault, instead, I feel that I'm to blame for not being the best boyfriend that I should have been. I should and could have done things way differently and I'm kicking myself for not doing so. Maybe I put too much pressure on you, that you felt like you had to make things amazing for me. I think about it, and that was just greedy on my part. I essentially guilted you into doing things that you shouldn't have been doing; that was totally my fault, and I can't blame you for wilting under that ridiculously high bar that i inadvertently set for you. I'm sorry. I set you up to go somewhere where you should not have had to have gone to. It's my fault, not yours.

Just thank you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for giving me bliss and all the joy that I could have ever wished for. Thank you. Thank you for all that you've done. I can't say how much you meant to me, and I wish you all the best. You deserve to be happy and to be loved far more than I ever delivered to you. God speed and I hope you find happiness more than I delivered.

No comments: